I talk to myself a lot. It bothers people because I use a megaphone.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Ok, so what's the speed of dark?
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The hardness is proportional to the softness of the bread.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Monday is an awful was to spend 1/7 of your life.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you haven't tried before.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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